Quickie

During a discussion about how he is not well understood by his significant other:
-You have to understand that she's not very smart, she's not very quick at getting these things...[awkward silence] but she's quick at other things
-Like what?
-Well she's quick at cleaning the house.
...

Walking on Thin Ice

When a colleague was reconfirming his presence to an ice-skating event:
"I said yes the other day, but since then I spoke to my wife and she said I will fall and break my glasses, so I cannot go"
...

Silent Sonar

Answering a question on which animal he would compare each of our colleagues to:
"well he's like a dolphin, he's quiet but he's talkative"
...

Thin Red Line

-What would you do, if one day, you get home and find yourself face to face with a burglar?
-I would be verbally upset!
...

Signs

-Do you believe in signs?
-Well I always believe in...sometimes...destiny.
...

Born To Be Wild

-If you could be an animal, which one would you choose?
-A Tiger
-Why?
-Well it's aggressive, affectionate, sneaky [...] and it has fur.
...

Impossible is nothing.

-Anything’s possible.
-Well, not everything is possible.
-No, not everything, but a lot of things are.
...

Value

"If a girl goes around and sleeps with everyone, it's not nice[...]for everyone"
...

New offices

After having moved to a new office space:
-How do you like your new office?
-It's different.
...

Love

"Love is a meaning in different facets. I love my wife in different ways, for example by telling her 'don’t do this, don’t do that' "
...

Today's news

-You know I never understand how people cry at concerts, you know?
-They're very emotional I find.
...

Precision

-On a scale from 1 to 10, how happy are you that I work with you?
-Overall, 9.3
...

Dilemna

-Which would you choose between:
1-your wife being with you and thinking about someone else
2-her being with someone else and thinking about you.
-Well, I would choose the first, because I would confront her, and she will be so impressed that I know what she's thinking that she'll forget the other guy.
...

Discussing the Outdoors

"I once went with my friend in the woods to pick mushrooms, he's Italian so he knows a lot about mushroom picking"
...

Beard

Following 3 days during which he was trying to grow a beard.

-Why did you shave? I thought we had a deal!
-It was itching me a lot
-Where?
-Around the beard area.
...